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1.28.2008
I almost don't remember this blog. It's an uncharted island that I wanted to forget. WHAT DO YOU LIVE FOR WHEN EVERYTHING THAT YOU LIVED FOR IS GONE? It's been 4 months since I lost the girl that I have loved with all that I am. I still cannot accept it. I loved her as I have never loved anyone before. I wished nothing but her happiness even if it meant that I have to sacrifice mine. I loved her with everything that I have, with all that I can give. My only wish was to be with her for all my life. I was her best friend, but she was my life. And on the night of 15th September 2007 I lost my life. My heart stopped beating, my mind froze, my body lost its soul. I was ripped apart, crumbled, trashed. I was lost, everything was gone. I am nothing but a souless person walking without a heart. She lay there, as peaceful as ever, with a bruise or two on her beautiful face. As I stood there, looking at the girl I loved most, I lost control. I cried like I never did. She was no longer with us. She was gone. I wanted to hug her, to hold her, to tell her I loved her. I called her but she never responded. Every night I wished it was just a dream. But I never woke up from that dream. As she was laid on her resting place, I knew she was there. I felt the breeze blow against me as if it was comforting me. I knew it was her when I saw a yellow butterfly fluttering near Celine. I knew. It was her. I often visit her grave. I talk to her, just like we used to. Only, now she doesn't answer. I am the only one talking. But it's okay. When I'm sad, I talk to her. When I'm happy, I tell her why. When I'm angry, I let her know. Sometimes I cry there, sometimes I laugh. She's my best friend. I love her. It was unspoken. I love her more than I love myself, and this is true. She never knew. She never noticed. Now everything's too late, my love has gone to heaven. She took my heart and my soul with her, but she never knew. She never knew how much she means to me, Just how much I love her. Before I leave her grave, I whisper my silent love. Oh how I wish she could hear me. As I sit here, typing, how I wish I could turn back time. Turn it back to when she could still hear me say my heart. I love you. Can you hear me? Listen. I LOVE YOU AYNEE. MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. MORE THAN MYSELF, MORE THAN LIFE. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LOVE. I LOVE YOU AYNEE. + Joseph updated @ 2:14 AM
9.18.2007
if you're reading this, please go to: www.rememberingaynee.blogspot.com + Joseph updated @ 1:38 AM
9.17.2007
Hi. This is Shirley Hsu Han Xue, Joseph's sister. I would like to say, first of all, that I am using this because I don't have one. I'm here to release my emotions of grief and loss, of a friend who had been like my sister. Joseph and I had known Aynee for quite sometime now, and we couldn't have guessed it would be a time so short. I don't know what to say, this grief is too sudden and too painful. So let me just leave a poem for a dear friend, Aynee luy suan hwe. by Judy Gagnon I knew you had to go away it was your time you see but I didn’t take the time to face that you were leaving me. You weren’t afraid of dying for you knew what lay in store in the blinking of an eye or the closing of a door. You shared with us a journey that only you could see and helped us understand God’s way as it was meant to be. Life had so restricted you your spirit is now free to go explore the universe for all eternity. + Joseph updated @ 1:21 AM
6.26.2007
I am so sick. I have a fever and I cannot sleep at all. well ah? Anyway, I was busy revising the whole holidays! So many homeworks yet so little time! I wonder how people managed to enjoy their holidays with heavy loads like these! I'm a loser. Anyway, I have tight schedule for the whole week =( And I am sick. That is the worse. And we have exams. Life is so hard. RJC is the best Jc yes, but not in terms of homeworks! oh no. Need to change now. So long! The sickhead is going to school =p + Joseph updated @ 6:08 AM
5.31.2007
 I got this bit from Mathew! It says it's Aynee in Cambridge, going out (to ballet lessons I think) in her ballet shoes. She did have more weight back then. =D Thank you Shirley for grabbing this! =) Oh it's real cute =) + Joseph updated @ 6:23 PM
It's been quite a long time since I blogged, actually a month or two? Sorry about that =) Anyway, I can't sleep tonight, and you know why? It's really really sad =( Aynee and I quarelled =( It happened this afternoon at school. Quite trivial. I do admit it's my fault and I'm very disgraced. Anyway, So I thought of blogging since it's very quiet and I cannot sleep at all. EDRIX I DO NEED TO TALK TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Okay this is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS... type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it! 1. Beer: - boys 2. Food - roast beef 3. Relationships: - impossible 4. Your CRUSH: - far away 5. Power Rangers: - punch machine 6. Life: - HER 9. The President: - old man 10. Yummy: - roast beef 11. Cars: - F1s 12. Movie: - pirates of the Carribean 13. Halloween: - Dark and gloomy 14. Sex: - adults 15. Religion: - God 16. Myspace: - realmish 17. Fear: - losing her 18. marriage: - HER 19. Blondes: - accented 20. SLIPPERS: - plain 21. SHOES: - comfortable 22. Asians: - us 23: Past time: - serving 24. One night stands: - last resorts 25: Cell Phone: - bills 27: Smoke: - pollutants 28: Wish: - HER 29: COLLEGE: - study 30: Highschool Life: - Taiwan 31. Pajamas: - bed 32. stars: - destiny 33. Fitness - muscles 34. Alcohol: - kenneth 35. The word love: - bittersweet pain 36. Friends: - Rafflesians alike 37. Money: - bank 38. Heartache: - HER 39. Time: - dawn 40. Divorce: - highly unlikely 41. Dogs: - gifts 42. Undies: - shirley 43. Parents: - mom and dad at home 44. Babies: - fragile 45. Stripper: - indecent 46. Blogs: - unupdated 47. News: - Gov't and Crime 48. Weddings: - HER walking down the aisle 49. Pizza: - Roast beef toppings 50. Kleenex: - tear tissues As wished. =) Tomorrow I hope everything will be normal. I swear I could die if it ain't. =( + Joseph updated @ 2:34 AM
3.26.2007
I seriously just forgot about blogging. Seriously. School's have been so hectic. I've got tests and still have to do some research. There are also upcoming homeworks and new stuff to read on. Like Chem and Math. Plus, we have to be fit for PE and as for me, basketball. I want to ask the teachers up front, "How do you expect us to be capable of all those CCAs if you always keep us awake the whole night?" I'm starting to think RJC is killing people. Now I realize how important Shirley's tip to me is: "Study hard in RJC or else you'll find yourself dead." Young ones, JC is hard. It is also very important though. And besides, I find myself in midst of the smartest people in Singapore, how else can I complain? =( And RJC is often dubbed as the best. This must be what it means to be dead. Anyway, my last night out was last night, with the Luy's (Aynee's) and the Hsu's (mine). We went to East coast and cycled. Or at least Aynee and I did. Shirley and Hanna skated. Hanna was really fun to get along with, she's so cute =) And shirley loves kids so they both enjoyed. I was thinking of how Aynee looks so much like her and how I never noticed until I saw Hanna skated 50 or so meters away. Cool huh? I learned so much last night, during dinner (at Holland Vilage). Family's important. So much of my time with friends and my CCA plus various activities, I actually forget about my family. And so, last night, I made them all feel loved =) So I love my family, and that's all that matters. Mom Dad Shirley, wo ai ni =) Went to Raffles Boulevard after, had lots of talks and everyone laughs and laughs, even little Hanna who I bet did not understand half the topic. Hahaha =D Aynee's mom is the most hospitable mom ever, and she gets along with my mom very very very well. When they talk, they seem to get lost to old ladies' world. Haha =D Aynee's dad was asking me about a hundred or so stuff, but everything's interesting so I was okay. What I loved the most is that he will play with me sometime this week! I can't wait to play and learn more Basketball from him! So cool! And I want to react to Aynee's post! I wasn't drowsy when I fetch her from Grace's! It's because I wasn't up the whole night! Shirley woke me up at around 2 am for sending Aynee off so I did. Hanna's a little hassle to carry (and she's wet from swimming) but it's fine. I was a little bit sad I cannot join the fun with the clan, but it's okay as I was serving mom. Again, family matters =) To RI boys: A play sometime this week, you're going down. =) + Joseph updated @ 8:06 PM
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profile 16 RJC Taiwanese
Links Joshua Edison Sheryl Yan Mary tag history 02.2007 03.2007 05.2007 06.2007 09.2007 01.2008 credits ____________________________
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